Before I give myself and ulcer, I decided to stop getting hyper about (seemingly) unimportant things.
Problem: There is never anything good on TV.
Synopsis: That’s a fact, and that is probably the #1 reason why I don’t watch as much TV as I’ld like to. Given half a chance, I’ld happily watch Judge Judy and Jerry Springer for hours on end, though I’ld rather be watching Justice League cartoons, or Star Trek re-runs. Of course a lesser blogger would turn this idea into a 14,000 word essay on the demise of western civilisation. Or maybe global warming. But I got a better idea.
Solution: Don’t rely on TV.
Problem: You can become a project manager
Synopsis: this is an affront to intelligent people everywhere. i’m not saying that one doesn’t need to plan and prepare. i’m just saying that if you call it project management, then you are a loser. my boss recently employed someone because they “practise project management principles” and told me I could get some tips from him.
It took every ounce of my rather feeble will power not to go to my local hardware store, and return with a garden spade and smack every last ounce of life from her body.
Solution: keep a garden spade in the office.
no one ever taught me how
to watch a television
like a baby i knew my candy
no one ever caught me
when i learned to ride a bicycle
and like the pavement embraced my skin
no one ever warned me
about that television
now i’m brain-dead at twenty seven
no one ever mended my
lumps and bruises
and now it’s hard to breathe
with a broken nose
wheat in no one ever told me